Freelancer- photography, modelling, writing, artist.
I’ve always considered myself a shy individual, not feeling confident meeting new people etc. It took me a long time to have any confidence in my abilities, despite my friends’ efforts to convince me that I had good reason to be confident, I wasn’t easily persuaded. I filled my time with artistic pursuits, not because I felt I had any ability but because I enjoyed them and wanted to be good at something, so I just kept trying.
On top of that, my mental health wasn’t great, it’s hard to know if the confidence issues contributed to the mental health issues or vice versa. Either way, support from my GP was lacking (take meds, pay for counselling if you can afford it was the response I received). I tried medication, motivational videos, meditation, “wellness”, exercise, diet and study. I found that the medication made me numb and without counselling, it felt like a crappy plaster to cover the issue (bandaid to my US friends) and not a long term solution. Diet and exercise only worked some of the time, because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to stick with it, so I slipped back into comfort eating and bingeing TV instead. Meditation helped when I could get a quiet moment, but with small kids those moments were rare, motivational videos felt patronising, toxic even at times, as did wellness, some of it helped, much of it missed the point. Study put a lot of pressure on me, but at the same time, made me realise I was more intelligent than I’d given myself credit for. I started with Sociology, (since I’d failed it at A-Level), creative writing and psychology, right now I’m studying life coaching. I gained confidence in my intelligence, made some rash decisions and choices (they were bad ones, but I’ve learnt a lot from the mistakes), worked on my fitness/physical health, building my confidence further. I even made some bold choices I would never have considered (and a few more mistakes).
Now I view the world very differently, I’ve changed my point of view and I try to grab opportunities with both hands. I hope to share some of the things I’ve seen and learnt along the way with you, maybe it will save you having to make quite as many mistakes as I have.
What I do.
Writing – fiction (thriller/horror); Non-fiction – mental health, wellness, psychology.
Modelling – freelance, fashion, alternative, vintage.
Artist – abstract, nature – paints, mixed media
Photography – Street/people, architecture/abstract, nature/macro
One day I’ll combine all my social media accounts…
Photo by Anna Moya (c)