5 Things to Try When Dealing with Teenagers

And preteens can test your patience, we love our kids but they know how to push buttons few other people do. So if you’re trying to be a calmer more at peace person, having a teenager or more than one (😮) can be really stressful.

I don’t pretend to know the best way to deal with them but so far this is what I’ve learnt. And dont grt me wrong this won’t work for all of them, but if it helps one other person, bonus.

1. Listen

Sounds simple and will come up in many situations but it can make all the difference, if your teen is angry or argumentative, ask them how things are, let them know they can vent at you and you don’t get angry. It’s not easy but if they’ve gotten themselves into a situation they can’t get out of they need to know they can tell you. I do get cross when they get into daft situations but I listen and then we talk it out and try to sort it.

2. Honesty

After I tell them off I try to explain why it made me cross too. I don’t know that they always listen, but if I explain it in a way they understand I know if there is a next time, that they made a choice to ignore my concerns. In most cases once I’ve really explained it, my two will try to take that into account. Was it a battle to get to this point? Yes because my two are emotional teens, getting them to listen is half the fight.

3. Find Time

This one I learnt while unintentionally helping a friend with their teen, who is have a really tough time. The teen in question adores them mum but worries about upsetting them (or at least that’s our best guess), so they have out time aside each day to sit down and just talk, about positive things first but building up to tackling issues. It’s a great way to build trust and shows your kid you’re focused on them and not distracted. That means no phones for either of you.

4. Space

Once you’ve talked to them and given them the opportunity you might need to give them space. It can take a little while to really get them to confide, start small, and build up. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt so far it’s don’t push, try not to get upset or angry (easier said than done, and I’ve failed to hide my upset before) but just let them know they can always message you if they don’t want to talk face to face. Then back off. By all means keep an eye on them but don’t hover over them, it has the opposite effect.

5. Boundaries

You need to set boundaries and it helps to have them involved in that, sit with them, tell them what you’d like from them, what you expect from them, the rewards and consequences. What do they think is a fair consequence for breaking a house rule? My two went through a a stage of watching YouTube on their phones when they were meant to be asleep, I told them they were meant to be sleeping and that if they didn’t do that they couldn’t have their phone upstairs at night. Everyone agreed that was fair. They did it again and the phone left the room, they know I’m not keen on them having it in there at night but as long as it’s off and not near them it’s fine. Have they learnt, maybe… occasionally I catch them out but generally they go to sleep without a fight, because we have routine and we have boundaries.

Will this instantly make your teen easier to deal with? No. But it may help, if your child is having a lot of difficulties, getting angry, lashing out, or depressed and secluded, then it’s time to talk to their school, there may be more going on than you realise and it’s always better to check it out and let them know you’ll help where you can. It’s always important to also remember that sometimes our kids are in the wrong, they aren’t always angels and if you think your child may be lashing out at other people, it’s time to intervene. I hope this helps some of you, if you’re at the end of your tether, remember your teen is not the only one who can reach out for help, you’re allowed to as well.

Published by Michelle Quinton

Mum, wife, perpetual student, freelance writer, weight loss coach, artist and occasionally model. I love to try new things, I love to write and I love studying and researching. Never thought I'd see the day that studying became something I enjoyed, but here we are. My blog is where I put my thoughts, I also plan to start a blog of short stories, with a new prompt for each story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

The United Nations of Photography

The intention of our presence here is not to fulfill expectations. It is to promote questioning and debate. Both of which should be respectful and informed. Learning comes from listening not shouting. Our opinions may not be yours, and that is how it should be.

Enter the woo . . .

Come visualize what I'm saying.

WTD

Weigh the Difference

The Angry Noodle

*noodle noises*

%d bloggers like this: